


Davekat Slur

by Mr_Hinadam_Wide



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Democrat, Homophobic Language, Liberal Steve Rogers, M/M, Politics, Republican, Slurs, le davekat slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2019-11-26 19:16:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18184649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Hinadam_Wide/pseuds/Mr_Hinadam_Wide
Summary: Dave sees a slurslinging king on TV and immediately falls in love with him





	1. Chapter 1

Dave turned on the TV. His abusive brother's rotting corpse was in the corner like that one episode of Adventure Time. "I think I'll watch some Steven's Universal," he said to no one in particular

Steven Universe was in the middle of explaining why we should be nice to dictators when an important news broadcast broke out across the screen

"Who dares interrupt my liberal wokeness" said Dave the homo. Suddenly he heard the destinctive sweet sound of slurs from his TV. He loved slurs so he turned it up.

"FUCK YOU FAGGOT!!!!!" a disgusting grau homestuck man on the other end of the tv was shouting at a heterosexual pride parade holding a big gay flag bc he was le

Le

The sound cut out to the newscasters voices. "Breaking news! Ugly homo florida man shouts homophobic slurs at heterosexuals in a stunning display of heterophobic oppression"

Dave was instantly in love. He had never heard such an amazing barrage of slurs in his life. His own slurs paled in comparison. He must know who this mysterious slurslinger was..................he had to buy a ticket on florida airlines immediately!!!!!!!!!!!!

To be continued................................


	2. Monosexual Rights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dave finally arrives in florida only to receive some heartbreaking news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took forever . actually I change my mind fuck you

Dave didn't have the money to pay for a flight ticket, so instead he sneaked inside an airplane bathroom and hopped in the toilet. Then when he heard the announcement that they were arriving in Florida he flushed himself so he would be flushed out of the plane with all the blue ice. he then floated to the ground and directly through the open window of an airport, because being gay gives you wings.

Immediately Florida smelled like swamp gas, old people, alligators and overpriced theme parks. But mostly,it smelled of slurs.

He turned his head and saw that there was a kid abt his age in a wheelchair about to go through a door, because he had at least some level of manners he was like "oh let me" and held the door open for him.

"uH,,, i CAN DO IT MYSELF, yOU ALBINE FAG," the kid said and ran over his sneakers with his wheelchair on purpose has he fucking owned him epicly.

Dave was thrilled. He had only been in Florida for a minute and he had already been called a slur! But he needed to find his true slur love.....

Dave turned a corner from the airport and started prancing around in his pink shades because it was a beautiful day to be a flaming faggot when he bumped into someone.

"UGH, WHAT THE FUCK, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING *SLUR*" said the grau homestuck man he had bumped into.

Dave GASPED. It was his slursexy king that he had seen slinging such sweet slurs on TV. Florida really was a small world after all...

Dave immediately got down onto one knee and pulled out a bright red flavored ringpop, because red and red make red. "marry me" he begged.

"GROSS, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE," the mysterious slur king answered.

"i saw you on tv man and you said the word faggot and i instantly became gay and fell in love with you, i will never love a woman again please fucking marry me right now whatever your name is" Dave said.

"MY NAME IS KARKAT AND I WOULD NEVER MARRY A STUPID MONOSEXUAL LIKE YOU," he said ripping off his sweater to reveal that he was wearing a shirt with the pan flag underneath "HEARTS NOT PARTS!" Carrot proclaimed.

Dave burst into tears but only on the inside because he was very cool, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a stick of celery "hey man you want this???" he asked searching for anything to distract him from his broken slur heart

"UH YEAH SURE I GUESS? THANKS" Kitkat said taking it

TO BE CONTINUE............................


End file.
